SF- Dave Smith Instruments known for its boutique analog synthesizers and drum machines announced to day plans to release a line of “cloned” synthesizers. Company spokesperson and crazy hair enthusiast Carson was quoted as stating “This new synth is going to be amazing, we are going to clkone the deepmind circuitry down to the smallest detail, except we are going to replace the smooth filter control with a stepped semi tone control because who needs smooth analog filters?” The news comes as no surprise as Dave Smith Instruments has been using behringer/cool audio chips for years in their original designs. Carson went on to say “I mean come on we can clone this thing, jack up the price by $800 remove all those awesome digital effects and slap in our lo fi delay that’s from the sharc dsp library and boom! cash that check!”.
when Uli Behringer approached with the news he was quoted as noting “that’s fine, We are planning a clone of their deepmind clone anyway, we have insider info… our sources are very good,. the best sources, you wouldn’t believe how good they are, they are unbelievable.” Uli then proceeded to play a rendition of “day man” which he says he cloned from a wonderful Philadelphia play. In a quote from Rob Belcham lead engineer of Behringers synth division he states ” Look we wanted to clone a human being but the ethics committees all were against it, I even had a fully functioning headless albino up and running!” I asked if Rob was serious and he proceeded to unroll what appeared to be a semi formed human finger with CV inputs on the back from a bloody napkin “Lets see Dave Smith Reproduce this!” he exclaimed. After cleaning up my Vomit we decided to call Dave Smith Instruments for one last quote on the matter, This time reaching Dave himself ” Look, I don’t want to clone anything. Honestly all I want to do is drink tequila and comb my Tom Selleck mustache like the boss I am. but the people want what the people want, and far be it from me to not give it to them!” he proceeded to wave his elbows around as though he was dancing to trap music… I think either that or he was having a seizure.